I was talking to my wife and son the other night and the LORD reminded me of the depths of my spiritual calling/purpose.
Ten years ago, I had reached a crossroads in my life, which I didn’t or couldn’t discern as a crossroads at the time. The only thing I knew is how I felt – empty, unhappy, and unfulfilled. These feelings came along with an insatiable desire to do something about it, so I set out on a journey to fill and fulfill myself. I resolved this would be done through the medium of music – a childhood talent, interest. Well, the mediums (roads) of music and music business didn’t lead to fulfillment, which, as I stated, I had already determined it would. Hence, what you have is a made-up mind + the reality of the polar opposite happening = equaling confusion, frustration, anxiety, depression, hopelessness. The thing I was sure would lead to my happiness and fulfillment led me the opposite way, and I couldn’t bare it. I was heartbroken, wounded, devastated. I crumpled over and shriveled up. I was a shell of myself. I was defeated and I couldn’t hide or cover it up anymore. I was beaten, battered, and broken. The life I was chasing was a pipe dream. I surrendered. It was over.
The LORD YAH has already revealed the intricate details of what I mentioned above, but the other day He reminded me of the other side to the equation. I felt empty you see, so I ran TO things (music, childhood talent) I reasoned would fulfill me, but that’s only half the story. The truth of the matter is I was actually running FROM (and off) my pain, my past, my hurt, my brokenness. Actually, I didn’t know it was there! Unknowingly, I didn’t want to face or deal with it. I didn’t want to confront it, so my running TO my fulfillment was actually me running FROM my pain!! Therefore, the LORD did not allow me to be successful in something I was good at because His will, His plan, His purpose was for me to know my pain – know it was there, know I was influenced by it my whole life. I was making choices and decisions out of pain I didn’t even know was there!
The truth of the will of the Father, the gospel of the Son, and the glorious and indwelling power of the Holy Ghost is to reveal, convict, redeem, restore, and set free – free from the effects of sin, pain, shame, your past, and anything else contrary to life and peace.
I’ve been freed for purpose. I now make choices out of pure love, not ignorant pain. My spirit man is awakened. My soul has been and is being purified and set free. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. This is the will of the Father in Yahusha Ha’Mashiach concerning you. All made possible by the plan & command of God the Father, through the blood of the Son, by the illumination & drawing of the Holy Ghost. Amen.